...and God will save you

Thanksgiving.

2011-11-24T22:09:00.002-06:00

So today is Thanksgiving.

disclaimer: Thanksgiving as of the time of writing. We hold no responsibility for when you get your lazy ass around to reading it.

And, in what has become a tradition for me, I'm going to write about all the stuff I'm thankful for. Only this time, I'm also going to draw about it.

because what's more 'thanksgiving' than staying on the computer, away from friends and family?

I'm thankful for the past year.

2011 hasn't really stood out as anything spectacular. There haven't been tons of wild and dramatic changes in my life. It's been pretty par for the course.

except for the new job, new apartment, new hobbies....

But, honestly, that's something I'm intensely thankful for. There were some pretty awful natural disasters this year that I was, in no way, affected by. I mean, don't get me wrong, big changes can be great. But if the status quo wants to stay the same, in my life, that's perfectly okay. My life is just fine. It can keep on like this for as long as it wants.

by killing people who find out my secret.

I am thankful for the world, overall.

Not in that "Hey, this planet is awesome" kind of way. I'm not some kind of dirty hippy.

yes I am.

More in that, "I can't believe we live in the future." kind of way. I mean, smartphones alone are proof that mankind just decided to stop giving a fuck about 'impossible' a long time ago. Skin grafting guns, GPS, indoor plumbing - I'm just eternally thankful to be living in this day and age.

fuck you, history!

I'm thankful for my family.

I have the good fortune to have my immediate family completely in tact and healthy. My dad is a close friend of mine. I know all too well how rare that is. My sister and I are only separated by a couple of years, so we actually get along pretty well, and even have some common interests. My mom is intensely caring and providing.

also crazy. Mom is old school crazy.

Honestly, I could go on and on about my family. And I have, in years past. And that's kinda why I'm not going to now. It's true that there's new things to love about my family every year, but the things that really stick with you are the things that have always been there. And I couldn't be more thankful for that.

but really, I'm just too lazy to write it all out again.

I'm thankful for my friends.

I have awesome friends. People that are creative geniuses. People that are intellectual giants. People that are hilarious and talented and overwhelmingly understanding.

people that will never be heard from again...

I've kept some friends since middle school. Other friends, I met in college. Some still, I met just this year. But they're all fun, intelligent folk who I'm proud to call my friends. It can be a really tough time to find people in the world who 'get' you. Harder still to be able to keep in touch with them for any length of time. This is one of those areas in which I've gotten insanely lucky.

another area in which I'm insanely lucky.

I am thankful for my job.

My job doesn't really exist. See, in my field, there are are artists, and there are programmers. And if you can do both, you probably can't do either well enough to get a job doing them. Basically, if you don't spend all of your time programming, you lose the programming job to people who DO spend all their time programming. And the same is true with art. The only people who get to do both are people who decide to work 'freelance', for themselves.

more commonly referred to as 'unemployment'.

I, however, got hired to do both at a company. So, I don't have to worry about selling designs, or rustling up clients. I just come in to work, and get a salary. They literally created my job, as there was no one at the company who did that kind of thing before. It's not just an awesome job. It's the freakin' holy grail for a guy like me, who's a jack of all trades.

"freakin" holy grails are 5 times more jesus-y.

I am thankful for Thanksgiving.

There's a lot of turbulence about holidays in which people are supposed to "do" something. People say 'why only show your love on Valentine's Day'? 'Why only be thankful on Thanksgiving'?

why only declare independence from the British on Independence Day?

And, while I agree that it's a pretty lame thing to save up all of your thanking for one day out of the year, I think that's missing the point. The point is, we all have a day to reflect and give thanks. Of course you can be thankful the year round, but setting aside a day to really study the things that you're thankful for and understand the impact of what you have is not something to be dismissed. I am really glad we have a day that focuses on thanks, because this day could just as easily have focused on family, or feasts, or whatever. Instead, we have a day to really reflect on what we appreciate.

Turkey!

Emotionless

2011-07-24T09:23:00.000-05:00

So, it's been a while.

Sorry to those of you that commissioned me. I know I'm pretty late with this, but I got caught up doing a commission that actually pays, so it kinda took precedence.

Anyway, the only one that I didn't just outright give to it's commissioner is this one, and I'm posting it here because I figure she doesn't care one way or the other.

Hope you dig it, Stoic.

What a lazy bitch.

Commissions - Closed

2011-05-31T00:01:00.002-05:00

H'okay! That's all for the commissions, at the moment. To all of those that got in on this, expect your stuff shortly. To all that missed out, catch you next time!

Hey guys!

Have you ever wanted to commission me, but thought, "~~his art sucks~~ He's too expensive"?!

Well, have I got a deal for you!

Starting right now, and going until sometime tomorrow, I'm open for commission! Prices are listed below, so jump right in and get yours now, before I realize how little time I have for this kind of thing!

Single Character

Sketch - $0.00

Ink - $0.00

Flat Colors - $0.00

Shaded - $0.00

3D Model - $1000.00

Additional Characters

2 or less - $0.00 each.

3 or more - 1 gold bar each.

Background

No background - $0.00

Simple background - $0.00

Other background - $Hookers. So many hookers.

I'm currently only accepting payment by Diner's Club cards*, but I'll let you know when I get the paypal set up!

*but seriously, I'm not.

Drama.

2011-05-27T15:43:00.002-05:00

The other day, I was responding to a news post about new Texas legislature and it turned in to a bit of a discussion between me and Zelda.

Yep. This blog post is about an internet argument. Feel free to stop reading.

It started out pretty regularly, but ended up doing something I couldn't possibly have predicted: I got fucking offended.

Generally how my arguments go.

Now, before I go to much further, let me just say that I'm not one to offend easy. I don't care if you disregard my beliefs, I'm not interested in your opinions on my mother, father, or any other relatives, and it doesn't concern me if we have differing views on politics or religion. There's really only one thing that I take pride in maintaining, and it's a pretty hard target to get at.

My classy assortment of Tuxedo T-shirts.

I fancy myself something of an open mind. As boring as that is, that's pretty much the only thing I strive for and the only thing that I am disappointed to fall short of.

I know that I'm not the most open minded person in the world, or anything.

I will NEVER watch, read, or listen to 'Twilight'. Fucking ever.

But I do earnestly try to see both sides of every coin. I don't always succeed, and I'm often times incapable, but I am constantly trying. And, believe me, it's regularly the cause of confusion and misinterpretation for me as, most of the time, objectivity is construed as disparagement.

I'm not welcomed back on DeviantArt.

So, when Zelda made this comment:

"I can't separate myself from the wording that proponents have basically called me and my gender out on the mat for being too stupid to make a decision without a blurry picture of a thing the size of a bean. You can look at it and be able to separate yourself from this because at the end of the day you're a dude."

I pretty much ran the gamut from angry to disappointed to embarrassed to dismissive all in about a fraction of a second.

How fucking DARE you suggest that I'm not a cold, detached robot!

So, of course, you may be thinking "What's so bad about that? You ARE a dude. You CAN'T really relate to being a woman".

And you're right. I don't claim to be able to understand how personally affected she, or any other woman, is by the topic at hand. But that's not what offended me.

What offended me was her total dismissal of my ability to look at the topic objectively. The complete lack of any indication that I'm capable of being non-partisan. Like, just because I've got a dick that I'm exempt from this conversation because it has to do with her FEELINGS.

Anger rising...

And, let me be clear about a couple of things: First off, the topic I was debating wasn't about her personal feelings. It was about rationality and slate. I tried to make that quite apparent. And secondly, I'm wasn't offended solely because of what she said, but because of that in conjunction with who she is.

I mean, Zelda's a friend. A person who I think knows me pretty well. A person who I would have trusted to make a generally good assessment of my personality and demeanor. And yet she comes at me with that nonsense?

I mean, she basically told me, 'Look. It doesn't matter what you say or do. When all is said and done, I'm not going to listen to you because you can't separate yourself from your side of the situation well enough to understand how it feels from my side of the situation.'

IN AN ARGUMENT ABOUT WHAT IS AND ISN'T REASONABLE.

I suddenly want to buy some Oxyclean.

And the thing about it is, she didn't accuse me of being closed-minded. Oh no. She just threw it in there, offhandedly, as if it were a given. Something that was so obvious we needn't even give it any real thought. Because it's something she honestly believes.

Really, though, that's what really hurt. I mean, knowing that, I have to question myself entirely, ya know? It's like, if someone can know me that well (or at least appear to), and still, deep down, believe that I'm that shallow, there's got to be something I'm doing wrong, right? That's not on her. That's on me. I haven't proved to her that no matter what the topic, or situation, that I deserve to be given at least a LITTLE credit. So, I have to be better. Try harder. Be more insightful and understanding.

I must BECOME a woman...

Now, since then, I've gotten over it. On a personal scale, I stewed on it for much longer than anything else in recent history. In outward comparison, it was a pretty short time - 4 or 5 hours that night, and then it was whatever. But the problems presented to me are still glaring.

I guess that's a good thing? Knowing the flaws that other people see in you so that you can fix them? But then, it's only a good thing if they're true. So, now, I find myself doing boolean comparisons between her assumed interpretation of me, and the assumed reaction of other people who know me to see if they match up.

I am, like always, trying to see if her logic is sound.

Which is ridiculous, considering her gender.

All in all, though, it's a lose-lose game because if she IS right, then I've got to work on being better at objectivity which will lead to a reconsideration of a multitude of topics to see if the 'objectivity' I had applied in the past is still logical. And if she's wrong, then I'm disappointed in a close friend.

What the hell am I supposed to say after that?

At this point, you may be saying "Hey, it was just an internet argument, Y so serious?"

But, it's not something I do willingly. Or even prominently. It's just something I do in the back of my mind when I find a little spare time. And I can't really help it. I guess that's just what amuses me.

That and fire.

Anyway, if you want to see the full transcript of this over-analyzed nonsense, you can check it out here. Of course it's edited to protect the innocent/amuse myself.

And, for the record, I DO realize that my response to this whole thing was the internet equivalent of storming off in a great big ol' huff. And I'm very ashamed of that fact.

Also, this is the modern equivalent of bitching about it in my LJ.

MORE PIRATES!

2011-05-16T15:27:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, I just have to shirk all other responsibility and draw pirates. It just happens. :/

Anyway, I'm having a lot of fun with this. I'll post it again once it's done.

Explosion!

2011-05-15T21:32:00.000-05:00

Perspective has always been a weakness of mine. It's why all of my pictures feature characters just standing there.

Obviously, this is a problem if I want to illustrate a comic. Thus, practice.

Also dynamic light sources. Man oh man am I bad at those.

PIRATES!

2011-05-13T20:54:00.000-05:00

I have an idea. An idea in the form of a story wherein there are a bunch of pirates doing a bunch of piratey things. And, because I'm kind of an unoriginal fuck, I've shoehorned my friends into various piratey roles.

Though, to be fair, my friends are kind of piratey.

In any case, a while ago I decided to do some promo images for this story where I had these pirate characters juxtaposed against various sin-inspired counterparts. Mainly because I thought it would look awesome.

So, I mustered up all of the skill and illustrative prowess I possessed back in '07 and drew some god damn pirates!

Then, I stopped abruptly after realizing that I'm utterly incapable of drawing sin-like versions of these characters.

Of course, a few seconds after I stopped drawing, I completely forgot about this whole project. Because....what was I saying?

Unfortunately for you all, I was recently reminded that these pictures exist. And, upon looking at them and realizing how awful I was back in '07, I've decided to publish them because they're not doing anyone any good just sitting on my hard drive. Also, they're not doing any harm, and that's pretty ridiculous considering that they're pirates.

So, without further needless explanation, here's a bunch of pictures of pirates!

Ame - Wrath

Ashe - Lust

Dijo - Sloth

Fate - Gluttony

Poison - Vainty/Pride

Vincent - Envy

Wen - Greed

Fuh...Overheating a bit...

2011-05-06T22:38:00.000-05:00

A little love for Ryo.

I guess it's a bit of a "Congratulations" on the 200 mark for Heartcore.

Anyway, I think I need to work more on clothing. I've been spending so much time I'm faces that they're not matching up with how I draw clothes anymore. :/

Most of all, though, this was pose practicing. Trying stuff out, etc...

Ears! Just like me!

What a bitch.

2011-05-05T19:44:00.003-05:00

This is Delilah. She's probably my favorite character from this story so far. :D
Also, do you ever look at your posing and think, "Look. If people could stand like that, they wouldn't have bones."?
Aaaaannyway. Trying to get better. Just poorly.

Pictured: Pure Evil

Snide, Shocked, and Pensive

2011-05-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

Just trying out some emotions. Trying to get better at diverse characterizations. I think I need to try some different body angles, too.

*sigh* Too much to work on.

This post needs more hat love. :/

Old discoveries.

2011-05-03T21:20:00.000-05:00

So the other day, I was going through some old files on my computer because if you don't scour your hard drives from time to time, file imps are bound to take up residence and eat all of your most delicious .dlls

FAT32?! I'm trying to watch my weight!

Mostly, I just found some old pictures that I hadn't looked at (or wanted to look at) in ages, and some old projects that I had been a part of, but in the midst of this deep drive discovery I found something quite shocking: Pornography.

It must have been some pretty racy porn.

Of course, it wasn't actually the content that was all that shocking - It was the fact that I even had it. I mean, for starters, I don't watch a whole lot of porn.

And if you believe that, check out this awesome Portal 3 trailer!

I mean, don't get me wrong, I use it to it's purpose once or twice a week, but that's about it. And given my awesome internet connection, I don't really need any on my hard drive. I just go to the plethora of free porn sites out there in a private browsing window like any other reasonably ashamed adult.

Sorry if you're reading this, Sis!

So, I got to thinking about the particular hard drive I was looking over and trying to figure out when I first got it. It's my secondary drive, so it just kinda holds all of my document files and travels with me from one desktop to another whenever my computers decide to crash and/or need an upgrade.

One day, I hope to do the same thing to my brain.

After a quick nostalgia montage of all my hardware helpers I realized that this hard drive had been around since I was in high school. It's quickly approaching being a 10-year old and apparently already has a pretty raunchy handle on the birds and the bees.
More interesting than that, though, was the fact that the porn in question had to have been downloaded from the Peer-to-peer sharing client, Kazaa. That's what I used back then.

It was like Frostwire. Which is like Limewire. Which was like Kazaa. Which was like Napster...

So really, at this point, the porn is more of an artifact than anything erotic. (And, actually, it's some pretty lame porn)
On the one hand, I don't really have any use for a poor quality clip of a janitor seducing a tanning bed customer. But, on the other hand, I'm pretty sure this is the last media on my computer that was downloaded from Kazaa. It seems like such a waste to throw it out. Almost like I owe it. I mean, he stuck around for this long, right?

That's right. I'm friend-zoning my porn.

What boots are made for walking?

2011-05-02T19:54:00.000-05:00

This is some more general character design for some of the main characters in this new series.

For the first time in a long time it's actually traditional, pencil-and-paper work.

Nothing really spectacular here. Just locking down some looks and names. I'm especially happy with the way 'James' came out because I had someone ask, "Is that a black guy?" I'd say that's some serious progress.

Not really sure about the huge-pupil eyes on these guys, but I don't hate it yet. Feel free to weigh in, if you can even see that kind of detail here. :/

A villain named Delilah. Can you dig it?

The gunslinger

2011-04-29T20:08:00.000-05:00

A face for the "Gunslinger" character. Not sure how finalized this is, but I was going for something with definition. I tried high cheek bones, and pronounced lips. Not sure how well that's coming through, or if I even want to stick with it. But I'm hoping the character keeps coming out with repeat drawings.

You can call him Johnny.

Something new.

2011-04-28T15:11:00.002-05:00

So, I think I'm gonna start updating with illustrations as often as possible, and just do the long rant-like blog posts when I can manage the time. That's the plan for now, anyway.

This stuff is just some concept work I've got going for a comic project I'm working on. It's tentatively titled "Plasma", but that's VERY tentative on account of that name being fucking awful.

More to come, of course. Just playing with ideas at the moment. But, hey, 10 points to anyone who can figure out what the comic will be about!

I tried to save you, companion cube.

2011-04-19T13:16:00.000-05:00

It's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage.

A day in the life.

2011-04-18T12:09:00.000-05:00

When I started this blog, the intent was that I would update every weekday, and update with some quick nonsense on the weekends. I figured that I couldn't really keep up with that schedule but missing a day or two here and there wasn't really concerning to me.
The hope was that I'd eventually get to where it didn't take me 3-4 hours to do a blog post, and my illustrations would improve at least a little bit.
Unfortunately, here I am updating a full month after my last post with nothing but excuses to explain the gap. *shrug*
There isn't a whole lot I can change right now to rectify this, but I'm going to do everything I can. I mean, at the end of the day, this is still just a completely narcissistic hobby, so I'm not ever gonna kill myself over it. I'm just gonna do what I can to do better, and keep giving excuses when I can't. Such is life, sometimes.

Anyway, this is still an illustrated blog after all, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna update with nothing drawn. Below is a character that I've been playing around with for the last 6 years. She's for a project that I'm kinda keeping pretty quiet, so I won't tell you much about her. In fact, this is the only place I'll be posting this piece for quite some time. Just a little bonus for the blog-followers.
So yeah. Thanks for reading. Hope you keep coming back and laughing!

Jessie

Still bloggin'.

2011-03-15T20:16:00.000-05:00

Last week sucked.

sorry, Japan.

And while I'm very concerned about our Japanese brothers and the long-term effects this series of tragedies will have on their nation, and the world as a whole, I'm really just talking about MY week.

I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total freakin' rockstar from mars.

The reasons the week was so bad to me were many but all of them were really petty. I'm not really the type to just bitch and moan about the minor inconveniences in my life.

at least not after I wrote it all out, and read it a day later...

The long and short of it was long days, early mornings, and not getting to go on a trip to St. Louis with my family to see a haunted house convention.

there were chicks in painted latex costumes!

But that's just my job. It's kind of a peculiar job, in that sometimes it's awful and other times it's pretty freakin' spectacular.

and sometimes, I fall off of a roof.

I mean, for being as privileged and white as I am, you'd think I'd have some kind of cushy white-collar job. The kind of job that I could just clock in and out of. 9 to 5, ya know?

20 points if you didn't immediately think of "Office Space".

I never could hold that kind of job down, though. It really seems like a perfect fit for me, what with the complete automation and not having to think. But, for whatever reason, I can't really stay in a job where I don't have some sort of goal to work towards. I can't get motivated to do something that will never be 'finished'.

except for fashion.

Instead, I've always been more comfortable in the type of jobs where I could look forward to slacking off.

So, I'm happy to take the utterly awful weeks, which leave me with almost no free time of my own, to get to the totally rockin' weeks wherein I'm able to kick back at noon and...well...work on this blog.

social life? Is that like a Second Life app on Facebook?

Day late and a dollar short.

2011-03-08T19:56:00.000-06:00

So, recently, I picked up a new video game. In a previous post, I may have led you readers to believe that it was Pokemon.

ya know, by explicitly using a franchise mascot.

But, in fact, it was not Pokemon. It was a game called Radiant Historia. It's a classic-styled RPG for the DS that adheres to almost all of the old RPG standards, such as turn-based combat and 16-bit (styled) graphics. It's actually a pretty delightful throwback to a simpler time in gaming.

it even forces you to stop every 2 hours to do chores!

I haven't actually gotten too far in the game but I've played long enough to realize something: I like this game.

..................

That may seem like a pretty frivolous realization to you all but, to me, it's pretty spectacular. The thing is, I haven't actually liked an original game in quite some time. Most games I find things about them that I like and call that a win. This game, though, I like as a whole. It's all coming together to be solid.

the only way I could be more of a snob is to call myself a 'Connoisseur of fine arts'.

Now, of course, there have been good games recently, especially in the franchises, but this game is something totally new for me to sink my teeth into and that's always pretty exciting. So, it got me wondering, why is this game so appealing? I mean, it really is nothing special. More of a love letter to the SNES than anything else.

and we've all been there.

And, believe me, my first thought was that I was just a nostalgic douche that gobbled up anything that acted like the games that I grew up with, because my generation was so much better than these damned kids that we've got now-a-days. Et cetera.

I'll be damned if I let old people have all the fun.

Of course, after some thought, I realized that it was a combination of things. I mean, the company who makes the game is Atlus, so they know a thing or two about good games. They put together a battle system that is unique, but simple and familiar and totally fun. They wrote a cookie cutter story, and then broke it all apart so that you could play with it. They made the gameplay tight and fast and accesible to everyone.

most importantly, they LEFT SOME SHIT ALONE.

It all spoke to one thing - Innovation with purpose. They didn't add anything in that wasn't required, but they didn't shy away from adding to areas that could be made better. And THAT is what makes a good game. That's why franchises work so well; because it's simple to add subtle innovation in a series. When the game comes out, just play it and figure out what could be made better. Then put that in the next one.

though, some people go a different route...

It's much harder to do that with a new game, but when it happens, it's something to take notice of. Like when Megaman X had a storyline in a platformer. Or when Metal Gear Solid fused cinema with video games. Or when de Blob used music to create an immersive atmosphere.

or when Skies of Arcadia added motherfucking air pirates!

All of these games, and tons more, had that core principle, and it made something magical. And, I know that making a 'good' game doesn't always make a profitable game...

add your favorite forgotten gem here.

..but it's extremely refreshing to see that there are still companies out there that are trying for something better.

seriously. This list is far too short.

Technical Difficulties.

2011-03-07T17:38:00.000-06:00

Today, the power went out, so I couldn't do any of the drawings for the blog post. SO! More slacking off.

Won't you feel like a man, dressed up like peter pan.

2011-03-06T10:06:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite things to draw, for reasons unbeknownst to me, is Link.

Probably because he's a badass.

So, of course, I've drawn him in a way that completely negates all that.

I'm not sure what goes on in here.

Kiao Lin Castle

2011-03-05T13:38:00.000-06:00

At one point, years ago, I was going to write and illustrate a comic about the ridiculous caricatures of my friends that I draw. And one fictional person.

This is some promotional art of the cast. Hopefully some of them will be recognizable.

I've been travelling on this road too long.

2011-03-04T23:12:00.000-06:00

No matter what you do in life and how awesome you think that thing is, there always seems to be some wanker doing exactly the opposite of that and being completely confident that what THEY'RE doing is awesome.

you son of a bitch.

So, for every person out there who's bebopin' along thinking, "Hey, this pie is pretty much all of the bees' knees", there's some joker who's balls deep in a cake just having a blast. And, for the most part, that's just fine.

you heard it here first: cake sex is A-okay.

Sometimes, though, there's a social norm attached to one of the options that makes one lifestyle seem better than the other for no real reason.

'lets all share'? You are the worst kind of humans.

One of the more hopeless instances of this would be the choice to be in a relationship, or to be single. There's a commonly held belief that if you're not either in a relationship, or wanting to be in one then you're a pretty sad individual. And, I mean, I can kinda understand that. Evolutionary imperatives and all of that.

if god exists, he's a dick: Exhibit AF.

Now, before you get all, "No one really cares about that choice", on me, let me be clear. I'm sure there are exceptions but, in general, when someone is talking about how happy they are to be single, and how awesome single life is, it's the common consensus that they're just lying to make themselves feel better until something comes along. And, of course, I wouldn't say that it's a correct assumption most of the time. Maybe half? But you can't tell me you've never listened to someone go on about how great being single is without thinking for just a second, "keep telling yourself that, friend."

personally, I just assume everyone's ALWAYS lying to me.

That in mind, I'm not the guy who's all gung-ho about being single. I'd be happy with a relationship. Being there for someone and having someone there for you seems like a pretty sweet deal, to me.

SWEET deal. *wink*

I do, however, find myself often enamored with the simple joys of being single. The utter lack of responsibility, the excitement of seemingly limitless possibilities, the time saved not having to hide or justify my prejudices...

seriously, what is the deal with Canadians?

Most of all, though, I am happy with the smallest things. And not, like, the inconsequential stuff. The things that I do that would annoy other people but not enough for them to say anything about it. The small things that eventually lead to resentment, over time. Those things that can be ignored but are still a very real nuisance.

things like wearing whatever the fuck I want.

I mean, every relationship has them. No two people are just 100% in sync. Or, if they were, it's probably pretty boring. But still - it's nice to have a break from having to worry about that. From dealing with that part of a relationship. Even if only for a while.

some people, however, are 100% N*Sync.

It makes me wonder why it's such a universal idea to choose one over the other. Why it's the 'norm' to go for relationship over individuality, when they clearly both have virtues. It just seem so...small, ya know?

the only reason this last paragraph is here is so that I wouldn't have to end on an N*Sync joke.

I miss Thanksgivings at Rob's house.

2011-03-03T19:35:00.001-06:00

Well, here we come to the last of the "meet all the people I associate with" posts for the time being, and this one is the most exciting one yet!

which isn't saying a lot, even if I weren't lying.

The following people are jackasses that I went to college with. They are not to be trusted under any circumstance.

Jivs - The cynical mathematician. He is a GM for WoW which makes him the person who plays WoW the most, that I can actually have a conversation with. But still never do.

Jubilant.

Hooker - Something of a mythical creature. She went to school with us (for game design) and she's reasonably hot. She's very much a girl, with all of their flaws. But also something of a gamer, so she can be reasoned with.

the consequences of Tetris are dire.

Mxc - The mighty. He's your typical big dude that is jovial and loud. He's as "bro" as a gamer can get. Very much lives his life in the vein of a Lebowski.

"German chocolate...so we meet again."

Cisen - Programmer elite. She's the much more known 'gamer girl' cliche. Very smart, very into WoW, and very reclusive. Also she leads the nation in Mountain Dew consumption.

not pictured: An ass the size of Montana.

And that's about it for the college-folk. At least the ones I stay in any kind of contact with.

that's right, Rob. That's the thanks you get for inviting me to all those Thanksgiving dinners.

The final person I want to make mention of is another one of those 'special' cases. That is she's important not only because of the person that she is, but also because of the person that she's not.

you must be at least this crazy to keep up.

Zelda, the person, is an ex-girlfriend and Fate's sister. She's a mostly religious, baking enthusiast that is interested in politics and social rights and news media. She's fun and clever and steadfast in her beliefs. She likes quirky music and movies, and lets her interests ebb and flow with the days of the week.

she's a pair of thick-rimmed glasses away from being an indie goddess.

Unfortunately, I was borderline obsessed with her during my youth which manifested itself in what has to be the most creepy possible way: I made a character modeled after her.

but, I mean, I never even finished making the hair doll. I'm not totally insane.

Now, to be honest, I only ever really made her a character because comedy works best with a duo. You need a setup, and a punchline. An idiot and a straightman. A psycho and a ground. And, I picked a girl because there are a lot of jokes that only work between a guy and a girl. So, since she was the only girl that had really caught my eye at the time, she fit the bill.

next runner up.

Of course, once I started using her, the character Zelda took on quite a different modus operandi than her real-life counterpart. She was still quirky, but at times she was also violent, or petulant, or lost in her own world, or whatever else I needed at the time. She's gotten to the point where she's almost nothing like the real Zelda. Which, naturally, makes for a more versatile character.

So, yeah. Zelda, the character, is just kind of the "yin" to Wen's "yang". A form-fitting counterpart that just helps sell the joke. Most importantly, she's, in no way, just a creepy way for me to fantasize about still being in a relationship with an ex girlfriend that dumped me.

just...just go with me on this one.

ACID and DISEASE

2011-03-01T20:19:00.000-06:00

This is Poison. She's my sister. As such, we irritated the hell out of each other, growing up.

pretty much.

Now, we're not as bothered by each other. At least, I'm not, anyway. She's always been a bit dramatic and I'm kinda apathetically dismissive, so maybe that still rings her bells but we're a lot more civil about it.

relativity being key, here.

She has a son, Danger, who is just shy of 2 years old, I think. He's too young to be really individual yet but, as his uncle, I'm required to say things like "He's crazy smart", and "He's gonna be a real ladies man one day."

"He's gonna be in a space rock band one day."

Anyway, I spend most of my weekends sleeping at the family house which is where these two live. Therefore, we tend to cross paths often enough. I wouldn't say we hang out a lot but I figure they're worth mentioning because on rare occasion we are within the same group of friends. *shrug*

I mean, who DOESN'T like Blink?

Next up is Dijo.

There's...uh...not really a good way to describe Dijo.

kind of like being speechless in the wake of devastation.

He's one of those weird kind of guys who just shows up when you least expect it and vanishes before you know it. He seems to live as a perpetual vagrant with no roots, troubles, or direction. He is more apparition than mortal. More concept than man. More essence than flesh.

Rebus as fuck up in this bitch.

I don't really know where Dijo is now, or when I'll see him again...or even when the last time I saw him was, for that matter...

did it get creepy in here?

But he's an all around interesting guy. Always has some kind of wild story to tell, and a unique philosophical perspective on life. The kind of guy who sees the cup as neither half-empty nor half full, but as a "free mystery drink!"

not always the best policy.

Anyway, we're getting to wrapping this friend-a-thon up. Next post is the last of 'em, and then we move on to just a list of people I want to have sex with.

Johnny Depp is on EVERYONE's list.

You say tomato.

2011-02-28T18:50:00.000-06:00

So! Continuing with the riveting coverage of my friends, we come to Vincent. Or Korben.

not these guys. Unfortunately.

And, actually, I want to take this time to point out that I'm not actually using anyone's real name. I mean, I may have used my real name, but everyone uses "David" as the go-to fake name on the internet, so you'd never know it anyway. So, yeah. Just FYI. I don't actually have ridiculously-named friends.

I do, however, have ridiculously-named genitalia.

Back to Vincent, though, he's kind of an interesting case. He's been my friend since middle school, and is kind of the other half of my brain, in a manner of speaking.

the 'Turk' to my 'JD', if you will.

I do tend to stray from that distinction, though, because Vincent is awesome and it's a bit self-serving to say that an awesome person is in any way similar to you.

self serving is not always a bad thing, though.

Anyway, ya know in those high school movies how that one douche shows up in the middle of the year, and is a total badass? Yeah - Vincent is that douche.

In high school, he rode motorcycles, killed it with the ladies, only went for half the day because he had a job and a car, and played the guitar. And not that pansy-ass 'I can play Smoke on the Water' shit. He made an impromptu performance on stage at senior prom. Just because he wanted to.

'killed it with the ladies'?

Since then, he's purchased his own land, built a house on it with his own two hands, married a widely-accepted hottie (which he inexplicably predicted in 2nd grade, by the way), had a planned child, and spends his downtime playing video games and setting things on fire.

and not just Call of Duty. He beat Chrono Cross using only the sea swallow.

So, at this point, any reasonable person should be asking themselves why in the world he hangs out with me.

of course, any reasonable person stopped reading ages ago.

The truth is actually pretty boring. We just happen to have a lot of common interests, like video games, and we see eye-to-eye on a lot of topics.

not all topics, though.

The lies, however are pretty awesome.

and then we killed the impostor!

Angel and Demon

2011-02-27T08:05:00.001-06:00

Okay, so today's weekend pieces are more fanart but, this time, from a semi-obscure webcomic (web graphic novel?) about demons called "Heartcore".

This is Ame, one of the stars of the comic. She's a demon. And, in this picture, she's naked. Because that's how I like my demons. *shrug*

This is another doodle of Ame. This time, in Fina's pirate outfit from Skies of Arcadia.

Why? Because just like how Skies of Arcadia is one of the best RPGs that no one knows about, so too is Heartcore one of the best comics that you've never read. So, fix that.

...but really, because the creator had mentioned in passing that she liked the outfit, and I just remember stupid crap like that. :/

You can find the entire series free to view online at www.lashiec.com

Cumulus

2011-02-26T19:26:00.000-06:00

Cloud Strife

Just a doodle of cloud. Because why not?

And here's another one, if he were designed by a western artist.

Tex Hardship

I need better ways to waste my time. :/

This is not a post about cats.

2011-02-25T20:17:00.000-06:00

H'okay! So, for the past two posts I've talked about me, me and only me.

is there anything else?

Honestly, I'm kinda sick of it. If you've come to this blog to hear about me, then today is not your day. Maybe later. But for now, I want to talk about cats!

kitties! Oh how delightful!

Unfortunately, I can't draw cats, so you'll have to wait to hear about my cats.

that was a wasted Thursday...

Instead, we'll be talking about my friends! Or, at least, the people that I deal with on a regular basis. I figure that if you're gonna read this blog, you might as well get a brief overview of the people I'll be casually mentioning on a daily basis.

pictured : The people reading this blog.

First up, we have my roommate. We'll call him "Fate". Or maybe "Vitus."

and, occasionally, 'dirty ginger faggot".

He does what I consider to be a preposterous amount of weed. But, then again, so do most of his friends. And a few more of my friends.

our apartment has this movie on at almost all times.

We get along pretty well, I'd say. We don't spend a lot of time together, given our job schedules but when we do, we don't bother each other too much. It's a very easy living arrangement, given our complete indifference to one another. I don't mind his drug use, and he doesn't mind my ridiculous love of "Rock Band".

except when I play this song, and this song alone, for 24 hour periods.

We even act as foils to one another, once in a while. We have political and logical debates as well as theological discussions and opinionated artistic arguments.

and we co-host the local fight club.

And, of course, like all roommates before us, we have made up games that help us pass the time when we do find ourselves with nothing better to do

this was an honest-to-god discussion and subsequent tournament.

Anyway, I got a new game today, so I'm gonna go check that out. I'll continue with my rouge's gallery next post!

those pokemon aren't going to catch themselves.

A sadly comprehensive background.

2011-02-23T20:09:00.000-06:00

So, today, I guess I'll tell you a little more about me. I live in Dallas, Texas, I'm 23, and I share a single-bedroom apartment with a male roommate.

there's an unreasonably small amount of evidence to suggest that I'm not gay.

I work for a satellite company that will remain unnamed for legal purposes. Seriously, they actually made me sign a waiver not to talk about my work life online.

"it's not that we're paranoid....we just don't want to be associated with you."

I used to work as an in-house QA tester for a local video game studio.

this is a uniform requirement anywhere in Texas.

And, before that, I was a QA tester for a game publisher out of state.

mmmm. inside jokes.

To facilitate my work in the game industry, I went to college and got a bachelor's in video game design. It is a pretty useless degree and I, like all other arts majors before me, highly advise you against following this path.

majoring in the arts is stupid.

Luckily, I met some pretty cool people in college, so it made it seem worth it.

except for those $70,000 student loans.

I'm currently single, but not recently single. I've been solo for over 2 years now. It's utterly soul-crushing.

wait...I'm not sure 'soul-crushing' was the right word.

I don't really have any plans to rectify that, at the moment. I mean, sure, I must get a hotel key a day and the offers from the modeling agencies sometimes fill up my mailbox, but I guy has to get some rest.

did I forget to mention that I am made of pure sexy?

I'm a pretty big fan of alcohol when it comes to partying, but I don't really do any drugs regularly. I'll get on with some pot every now and again, but that's pretty minimal.

never could get past the taste of it, myself.

Most of my day, when not working, is spent building websites, drawing doodles, or trying to convince people to help me work on home-brew video games.

or, more accurately, watching old episodes of The Office.

And that's pretty much it. I guess it's not a particularly exciting life but I dig it.

it seems like I forgot something....

Which way to the blogosphere?

2011-02-22T16:27:00.001-06:00

Hello!

My name is David. I am a human.

at least, that's the theory...

Online, I usually go by the name "1076", or some combination of that number and a site-relevant word. I'm not really sure why; I just chose the number when I was around 10 or so.

apparently, 10-year-old me was hipster as fuck.

This character is called Wen.

whacky in his tacky khakis!

Sometimes he's a pirate.

ninjas beware.

But not always.

ha ha! Despair!

Anyway, he's my avatar. He doesn't really look like me, but I have a hard time drawing complex things, like people-looking people, so he has to do.

this blog is pro-mediocrity.

It may get confusing at times, because while he does often represent me, we are two separate entities.

though one of us is clearly superior.

He's kinda dopey and happy and naive, while I'm more cynical and apathetic and dorky.

we're like a sitcom!

But, hopefully it will be clear when he's acting on my behalf. Like, if I were telling a story, he'd probably be performing the actions.

none of my stories are this epic.

As opposed to when he's just reacting to me. Like when I change the horizontal alignment to fuck with him.

it's the little things that amuse me.

So yeah! That's about it for now. Tune in tomorrow to get the scoop on the third personality who derisively captions all of my pictures in italics.

I also talk him out of murder sometimes. Just sayin'.